Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Good to know: Over 220 Million American People Armed To The Teeth And Ready To Explode

The boys over at the Pakistan Daily, who broke the news that Osama Bin Laden is Jewish, are back with more breaking news:

Over 220 Million American People Armed To The Teeth And Ready To Explode

Written by (Author )Editorials, WorldDec 30, 2009

According to an obscure report in the European Union Times, “Russian Military Analysts are reporting to Prime Minister Putin that US President Barack Obama has issued an order to his Northern Command’s (USNORTHCOM) top leader, US Air Force General Gene Renuart, to ‘begin immediately’ increasing his military forces to 1 million troops by January 30, 2010, in what these reports warn is an expected outbreak of civil war within the United States before the end of winter.

“According to these reports, Obama has had over these past weeks ‘numerous’ meetings with his war council abut how best to manage the expected implosion of his Nation’s banking system while at the same time attempting to keep the United States military hegemony over the World in what Russian Military Analysts state is a ‘last ditch gambit’ whose success is ‘far from certain.’”

The Eu Times article continues by saying, “To the fears of Obama over the United States erupting into civil war once the full extent of the rape and pillaging of these peoples by their banks and government becomes known to them, grim evidence now shows the likelihood of this occurring much sooner than later.”

There's more here. Tell your friends to stock up on lichen!

Thursday, December 17, 2009 hacked by Iranians?

Screenshot 10:31 PM PST 12/17/2009


Good updates @ TechCrunch

Monday, November 9, 2009

Cannabis coats of the star -- and rabbi

The cannabis leaf stage outfit (designed by Nudie of North Hollywood) for Gram Parsons

The Kossover Rabbi wears a more sedate version

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Who is Congressman Joseph Cao (R-La.)?*


Who is the sole Republican Congressman to vote for the Democrat's health bill?

Apparently Wikipedia is conflicted, as the above screenshot illustrates. I can't find that weird meta-text in the source but it's not the first time I've seen the hack.

My post from July shows the same touch o' whimsy in a Wikipedia entry proclaiming 'Winnipeg is cold as fuck."

* Update: I was late on this and here's the blow-by-blow on Wikipedia's TALK pages.

Still this seems to be a known exploit and a hole that needs some web.bondo of some sort.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

1974 Album Review: Billy Joel "Streetlife Serenade"

I wrote this

  • Streetlife Serenade
  • Billy Joel
  • Columbia KC 33146
  • Released: October 1974
  • Chart Peak: #35
  • Weeks Charted: 18
  • Certified Gold: 12/22/80

With Streetlife Serenade, his third solo long-player, Billy Joel has taken off his gloves. Gone are the slushy strings that mired his pounding piano in a mush of romantic glop. Excised are the tonsils that held back his soaring tenor.

The title track speaks of a "shopping center hero." Whether this is Billy or one of his subjects is irrelevant. Billy's intensely autobiographical approach reflects the angst of life in the seventies, and in the suburbs.

You couldn't say this conceptually coherent record is about loneliness, although it is inhabited by occasionally lonely people. And it isn't about alienation, because everyone seems to be able, finally, to relate. This is an album about you and me, and him over there, and her, and everybody, just coping.

"Los Angelenos" tells the story of refugees from everywhere, driving their sports cars "nowhere on the streets with Spanish names." Billy lays down a Rhodes riff that burns, and then sneers the opening vocal with a passion that makes Elton John, to whom he is most often compared, sound middle-aged. By the time he gets to the overdubbed organ ride at the end, he has followed the lead of Ray Davies' "Celluloid Heroes" from Hollywood Boulevard into the hills and canyons of L.A., where people "go to garages to get exotic messages."

The organ segues to a bluesy synthesizer as Billy flies back home to Long Island for a Sunday afternoon barbecue with the folks ("The Great Suburban Showdown"). You must go home again, and Billy does with an instinct for self-satire that allows him to criticize with love.

Next is "Root Beer Rag," an instrumental in the classic rag form. It shows off his compositional and performing abilities on the piano in a tasty interlude. Side One closes with "Roberta," a bittersweet love song to a call girl, or "out-call" as they are affectionately known in Smogville.

Side Two is more optimistic, and opens with the follow-up to "Piano Man," boldy titled "The Entertainer." We pick up the narration of Billy's career when he's only as god as his last record, as the expression goes, and he's out to continue the road to success. To touches of Rick Wakeman synthesizer, Billy adds the fast-picking banjo that made "Travellin' Prayer" on the previous disc such a mover. Columbia probably intends this as a single, but the line about getting laid might turn off some Top 40 programmers. (Question: If Mick Jagger laid a divorcee in New York City, can Billy?)

"Last of the Bigtime Spenders" is the lp's only weak tune. In it, Billy indulges his propensity for the quick rhyme and the easy lyric and comes up with the highest cliche quotient in recent memory. Granting some tongue-in-cheek poetic license in the theme ("I'm the last of the bigtime spenders 'cause I'm spendin' my time on you") the inclusion of even more chestnuts ("make the grade," "small-time operator," "make the best of the situation," and "you can call me the great pretender") makes this tune a prime copyright for some sappy country singer. Billy can do better. (While we're nitpicking, does Billy sing the title track through his sinuses ore is something wrong with my $2000 stereo?)

Side Two's optimism continues with a raveup called "Weekend Song," similar in sentiment to Jesse Winchester's "Payday": an ode to T.G.I.F. A short vignette, "Souvenir," follows, and one line shows that Billy can write if he wants to. "Every year's a souvenir that slowly fades away."

The last song is an instrumental that combines the weekend with a souvenir, a soundtrack-sounding "Mexican Connection." Billy's left hand hits a Latinesque ostinato as he weaves a loping trail across the Rio Grande into the land of tequila and la tourista. Slick arrangement, evocative playing and a beautiful melody make this a real charmer.

Streetlife Serenade is the finest release of this major American artist. Billy is what Leon and Elton used to be.


- Dennis Wilen, Phonograph Record Magazine, 11/74.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Who By Fire?

"God's iPhone" [c] 2008 Dan Kacvinski

Who By Fire?

Leonard Cohen

And who by fire, who by water,
Who in the sunshine, who in the night time,
Who by high ordeal, who by common trial,
Who in your merry merry month of may,
Who by very slow decay,
And who shall I say is calling?

And who in her lonely slip, who by barbiturate,
Who in these realms of love, who by something blunt,
And who by avalanche, who by powder,
Who for his greed, who for his hunger,
And who shall I say is calling?

And who by brave assent, who by accident,
Who in solitude, who in this mirror,
Who by his ladys command, who by his own hand,
Who in mortal chains, who in power,
And who shall I say is calling?

God's IPhone. [c] 2008 Dan Kacvinski

On Rosh Hashanah it is inscribed,
And on Yom Kippur it is sealed.
How many shall pass away and how many shall be born,
Who shall live and who shall die,
Who shall reach the end of his days and who shall not,
Who shall perish by water and who by fire,
Who by sword and who by wild beast,
Who by famine and who by thirst,
Who by earthquake and who by plague,
Who by strangulation and who by stoning,
Who shall have rest and who shall wander,
Who shall be at peace and who shall be pursued,
Who shall be at rest and who shall be tormented,
Who shall be exalted and who shall be brought low,
Who shall become rich and who shall be impoverished.

But repentance, prayer and righteousness avert the severe decree.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Racist? Period piece? Mañana is good enough for me!

This song wouldn't be a hit today, that's for sure, but I remember hearing it when I was a baby.

Was it on the radio? It was a big hit for Peggy Lee, who co-wrote it.

Maybe it's a harbinger of the Aztlan Reconquista -- a 'Mexican' approach to patching the budget mess in Sacramento!

Mañana is good enough for me!

The faucet she is dripping and the fences she's falling down
My pocket needs some money so I can't go in to town
My brother he ain't working and my sister doesn't care
The car it needs a motor so I can't go anywhere

Manana Manana
Manana is good enough for me

My mother´s always workin´ she is working very hard
But every time she looks for me I´m sleeping in the yard
My mother thinks I´m lazy and maybe she is right
I gotta work manana but I gotta sleep tonight

Manana Manana
Manana is good enough for me

Once I had some money but I gave it to my friend
He said he'd pay me double it was only for a lend
But he said a little later that the horse she was so slow
Why he gave the horse my money is something I don't know

Manana Manana
Manana is good enough for me

My brother took his suitcase and he went away to school
My father said he only learned to be a silly fool
My father said that I should learn to make a chili pot
But then I burned the house down the chili was too hot

Manana Manana
Manana is good enough for me

The window she is broken and the rain is coming in
If someone doesn't fix it I'll be soaking to my skin
But if we wait a day or two the rain may go away
And we don't need a window on such a sunny day

Manana Manana
Manana is good enough for me

Thursday, August 6, 2009

BBC web volume goes to 11

The BBC's web volume goes to 11, as this screenshot shows. 4:02 AM Thursday, August 6, 2009

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Living in America? Welcome to Iran

Imagine that 30 years ago, a coalition of the Aryan Brotherhood, the National Rife Association, the KKK, the American Independent Party, Operation Rescue, the Southern Baptist Conference and other Christian evangelical and dispensationalist groups overthrew the government of the United States to form a new Christian Republic of America.

Pat Robertson, the Supreme Leader, would be the ultimate authority in this Protestant Theocracy, with help from Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts and that guy from the God Hates Fags church. Their theology would be based on the imminence of the End Times, Tribulation, the return of Jesus and the Rapture.

The only TV news would come from Fox, the only talk radio from Rush Limbaugh and print newspapers would have the depth of USA Today and the viewpoint of the Washington Times.

All the music would be Christian rock and/or gospel and the MTV clones would look like the 700 Club.

All newspapers, Web sites, internet service providers, cellphone companies, blogging aggregators and social media sites would be directly supervised and censored by the Ministry of Information, led by Sarah Palin, and all educational curricula would be designed by the Creation Institute peeps.

Foreign Minister Dick Cheney would blame all world's problems on the Europeans -- specifcally the French -- and look forward to the day France would be wiped off the map.

Almost all Americans of French heritage who had any money would have left the country and fled to Quebec and/or La Patrie, and French words would be banned from polite discourse. Despite the fact French people were here on the continent before the USA was founded, their history and role in the American Revolution would be obliterated from the collective consciousness.

Catholics would be tolerated, Jews allowed to stay Jewish but Muslims, Mormons, Buddhists, Bahais and Hindus would be allowed only to continue to worship in private, and denied permission to expand, refurbish or modernize any existing places of worship.

After 30 years of this, and a disputed election where the choice was between an extreme right winger and a more moderate right winger, some people would miraculously decide that enough was enough, and protest rigged elections peacefully in the street.

The FBI, bolstered by paramilitary reinforcements recruited from the Hells Angels, would be designated to crush the peaceful protests before they got out of hand. The Supreme Leader, of course, would blame it on the French.

Welcome to Iran.